Santa Isn't Real. Merry F&#k^%g Christmas, Kid.

When I was three, my folks took me to see Santa. They told me he was the real, one-and-only, original Santa (because I asked if he was). When I sat on his lap, I saw a fake beard.

By the time Easter rolled around, all of the childhood lies we tell our kids about the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny (which never really made sense to me why a bunny would run around hiding colored eggs until later on when I realized Christians had stolen most of the pagan festivals for their religious holidays) and so on and so forth had been rationally debunked by my three year-old self. I wasn't that disappointed, do be honest, because the lie hadn't been told often enough. But I did wonder why my parents, who told me to never tell lies and beat me if I did (spanking today is considered beating, right?), would lie to me.

Magical thinking is fine for fantasy and imagination, but it's not so great for a child to be lied to - ESPECIALLY by their parents. Being lied to by your parents undermines parental authority. When is it okay to lie? A child does it most of the time out of fear of punishment for telling the truth. So when will the parents be punished for not telling the truth? The answer is never. When the parents aren't punished for telling lies, it tells the kid that punishment for lying is arbitrary. If some lies are punished and others aren't, it means a kid is more apt to lie in the hope that the telling of the lie won't lead to punishment. Further, the lie is repeated and the older and sadly wiser kid is often told to participate in the lie or get punished for destroying the childhood of others. So when they're told they'll be punished for NOT lying about the existence of non-existent creatures, the message is muddied even more.

But worse than that is the hit to the self esteem of the child. No one likes being the butt of a joke. But being told Santa Claus is real and being misled to believe it is much like a huge practical joke being perpetrated on those least-equipped to discover the truth and who certainly won't be laughing along when they do. That kind of resentment can adversely affect a person in many ways. All for the sake of what? Childhood?

"Sorry, Timmy, the being we told you about and in whom you believed as real for your entire life is, in fact, a myth perpetuated by greedy merchants who want to sell their products so they can make a profit for the year. Welcome to adulthood."

No wonder Lassie kept finding Timmy down a well...

One wonders how many people have trust (and other) issues because their parents - aided and abetted by a mostly willing society - kept them thinking Santa was real for far too long. Now, toss in the rampant consumerism associated with the holiday and you have a recipe for disaster. After all, it's one thing to be told by your parents why you won't be getting the present of your dreams. It's quite another to never know why Santa didn't get you what you wanted. Kids quickly learn that if being good isn't properly rewarded, then there's no real point to it. They grow up to become some pretty obnoxious people.

Another thing to consider, for those of you who are of a religious bend, is to think of the symbology involved here. We have a myriad of God-like symbols out there - most of which involve a white-bearded man. Much like Santa Claus. God separates who's naughty and who's nice. So does Santa Claus. God rewards the good and punishes the bad. And so does the Great Bearded Red One.

The trouble here is that the kid is being told an imaginary creature is real every year. They can even be "seen" (as happened with me) if you go to a mall or department store between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This reenforces the reality of the myth. Television, movies and other media reenforce the myth, bringing in other creatures we're a lot less likely to see in real life like the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. They're on television or in songs and such, but they're NOT REAL.

At the same time, we take our kids to Church and tell them the exact same things about God's existence as we do Santa and the Tooth Fairy. We don't see God in real life until we're dead (at least according to your mythology), but like the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, He's portrayed in pictures and even movies (He apparently looks like George Burns or Morgan Freemen today) and like Santa, kids are encouraged to talk to Him.

THEN you come along and tell your kid that Santa (who we can supposedly see in real life) is just a guy dressed up in a fat suit and the Easter Bunny (who we can't ever see in real life) and Tooth Fairy (who we also never see in real life) are lies, too. But after all that you tell your kids they're supposed to keep believing a God whose existence is even harder to prove to them.

And you expect your kids to keep believing in your God?

Let's replay that conversation:

Timmy: "Santa isn't real?
You: "I'm sorry, Timmy, no. He's not."
Timmy: "What about the Easter Bunny and tooth fairy?"
You: "They're not real either. It's all just us parents doing it."
Timmy: "What about God?"
You: "Oh, God's real. I believe it so you have to believe it."
Timmy ( upset and wondering where the closest well to jump in is): "But you said the exact same thing about Santa, and the tooth fairy and they're not real. So God must not be real, either."

Kid logic. This is why Timmy's an atheist today and doesn't send Mother's day or Father's day cards.

Here's a little factoid that may or may not be relevant: Back in the 1800's and early 1900's, Santa Claus was not that big of a deal. The giving of gifts during Christmas (and the need to create a mythological figure to do the delivering of said gifts) wasn't popularized until the late 1800's. (Another minor factoid: The celebration of Christmas itself was banned repeatedly in the United States from time to time in several places for various reasons.) Ever since the early part of the 20th century, when Santa rose as a major mythological figure, memberships in many churches have gone into decline. One could say that the Information Age is most responsible for this decline and they'd probably be right. Yet I can't help but wonder how much of that decline is directly due to lying to children about Santa and other unreal creatures. One can't deny that childhood traumas and resentments carry over into adulthood and if you look at the time-line, it may have had more of an impact than people think it would.

Despite the obvious advantages of kids possibly rejecting invisible sky-friend religions due to the lies told to them about childhood figures, I don't advocate lying to your kids. I understand some reasons to lie - after all, they're young and don't understand some things like finances - but tactful, reasonable honesty is always the best answer. If they ask, tell them the truth. If they're mistaken, correct them. Treat their learning about the world with respect, instead of a wink, a grin and a pleasant lie that will always, eventually, blow up in both of your faces.